[Code.gr Mailining List] If they where Virus :)

-= CODE.GR =- webmaster@code.gr
Sun, 4 Nov 2001 13:50:49 +0200 

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Untitled DocumentCelebrity Computer Viruses Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks =
all the memory out of your computer.=20

Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.=20

Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.=20

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and =
then slowly expands to 300MB.=20

Lorena Bobbit virus: Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.=20

Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus: Searches your hard drive for old files and =
deletes them.=20

Ellen Degeneres virus: Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.=20

Titanic virus: Makes your whole computer go down.=20

Disney virus: Everything in the computer goes Goofy.=20

Prozac virus: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.=20

Sharon Stone virus: Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's =
there.=20

Tim Allen virus: Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon =
contact.=20

HBO virus: Runs the same programs over and over, week after week after =
week.=20

Woody Allen virus: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter =
card.=20

NFL Blackout virus: Will only let you run progams on a remote terminal =
that's more than 75 miles away.=20

Linda Tripp virus: Makes copies of your personal files and forwards them =
to the authorities.=20

Bill Clinton virus: Won't let you query the system for information.=20

Rush Limbaugh virus: Biases everything to the right.=20

Ken Starr virus: Expands a focused search of a specific file into a =
global interregation of every existing file. Creates links between =
unrelated data. Works extremely slow while searching and compiling =
results.=20

Al Gore virus: Runs quietly in background mode but doesn't appear to =
really do much of anything.=20

Saddam Hussein virus: Won't let you into any of your programs.=20

Tonya Harding virus: Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.=20

George Michael virus: Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess =
data buildup.=20

Joey Buttafuoco virus: Only attacks minor files.=20

Jerry Seinfeld virus: Program about nothing that exits when you're =
really enjoying it.=20

David Caruso NYPD Blue virus: After running successfully for a while, it =
exits the program it was in and never works again.=20

Pee Wee Herman virus: Exposes your confidential files to everyone.=20

X-files virus: All your Icons start shape shifting.=20

Spice Girl virus: Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.=20

AT&T virus: Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are =
getting.=20

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be =
back.=20


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<BODY bgColor=3D#ffffff link=3Dred text=3Ddarkred>
<P>Celebrity Computer Viruses Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the =
memory out of=20
your computer.=20
<P>Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored. =

<P>Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.=20
<P>Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, =
and then=20
slowly expands to 300MB.=20
<P>Lorena Bobbit virus: Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.=20
<P>Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus: Searches your hard drive for old files and =
deletes=20
them.=20
<P>Ellen Degeneres virus: Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.=20
<P>Titanic virus: Makes your whole computer go down.=20
<P>Disney virus: Everything in the computer goes Goofy.=20
<P>Prozac virus: Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.=20
<P>Sharon Stone virus: Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's =
there.=20
<P>Tim Allen virus: Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive =
upon=20
contact.=20
<P>HBO virus: Runs the same programs over and over, week after week =
after week.=20
<P>Woody Allen virus: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter =
card.=20
<P>NFL Blackout virus: Will only let you run progams on a remote =
terminal that's=20
more than 75 miles away.=20
<P>Linda Tripp virus: Makes copies of your personal files and forwards =
them to=20
the authorities.=20
<P>Bill Clinton virus: Won't let you query the system for information.=20
<P>Rush Limbaugh virus: Biases everything to the right.=20
<P>Ken Starr virus: Expands a focused search of a specific file into a =
global=20
interregation of every existing file. Creates links between unrelated =
data.=20
Works extremely slow while searching and compiling results.=20
<P>Al Gore virus: Runs quietly in background mode but doesn't appear to =
really=20
do much of anything.=20
<P>Saddam Hussein virus: Won't let you into any of your programs.=20
<P>Tonya Harding virus: Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.=20
<P>George Michael virus: Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess =
data=20
buildup.=20
<P>Joey Buttafuoco virus: Only attacks minor files.=20
<P>Jerry Seinfeld virus: Program about nothing that exits when you're =
really=20
enjoying it.=20
<P>David Caruso NYPD Blue virus: After running successfully for a while, =
it=20
exits the program it was in and never works again.=20
<P>Pee Wee Herman virus: Exposes your confidential files to everyone.=20
<P>X-files virus: All your Icons start shape shifting.=20
<P>Spice Girl virus: Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.=20
<P>AT&amp;T virus: Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you =
are=20
getting.=20
<P>Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be =
back.=20
</P></BODY></HTML>

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